rights of mothers in islam

The Quran and Hadith on Mothers

The Quran

1. "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

2. "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "(17:23-24).

3. "We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not'" (29:8).

4. "We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) Goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)" (31:14-15).

The Hadith

1. The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).

2. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

3. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

4. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).

5. It is narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother (Bukhari, Muslim

Running to Remember a Mother and Her Trust in Allah

Muslims who perform the Hajj or Umra must run in the middle portion of the distance between Safa and Marwa seven times. Safa and Marwa are two hills close to the Kaba. This is a commemoration of one mother's sacrifice for her son.

That mother was Hajira (may Allah be pleased with her). Her son was the Prophet Ismail (peace be upon him). Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) was Hajira's husband, and Ismail's father.

Hajira's example of sacrifice took place when she and her baby was left in the valley of Makkah by Allah's order as pioneers to start a civilization.

Here was the wife of a Prophet, the princess of the king of Egypt, left with her child in the desert. All for the sake of pleasing our Creator.

As Prophet Ibrahim headed for his next responsibility from Allah, he reached an area where Hajira and Ismail could not see him. At that point, he turned back, raising his hands in Dua and said,

"O Our Lord! I have made of my offspring to dwell in a valley without cultivation by Your Sacred House; in order Our Lord, that they may establish regular Prayer: so fill the hearts of some among men with love towards them, and feed them with fruits, so that they may give thanks." (Quran 14:37).

Hajira returned to her place and started drinking water from the water-skin, and her milk increased for her child.

But when she had used up all of the water, she ascended the Safa hill and looked, hoping to see somebody.

The area was empty.

She came down and then ran up to Marwa hill. She ran to and fro (between the two hills) many times, then went to check on her baby Ismail.

He was dying. And she could find no water for him or herself.

She could not watch her son perish. How could any mother?

'If I go and look, I may find somebody,' she told herself. Then she went and ascended the Safa hill and looked for a long while but could not find anybody.

In all,Hajira ran seven rounds between Safa and Marwa, in the hot, waterless valley, where her thirsty baby lay.

She told herself to go back and check on Ismail. But suddenly she heard a voice: it was the Angel Jibreel.

'Help us if you can offer any help," she said to him.

The angel hit the earth with his heel and water gushed out. Hajira was astonished and started digging. Allah, as she had rightly proclaimed, had not abandoned them.

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), in the Hadith in Bukhari in which much of this incident is narrated, said, "If she (Hajira) had left the water, (flow naturally without her intervention), it would have been flowing on the surface of the earth."

Today we are bearing the fruits of this mother's struggle and sacrifice. Many of us drink and have drunk from the well of Zamzam. And those of us who have made Hajj run in a much more comfortable way than Hajira ever did, between Safa and Marwa.

Her commitment to her son, her sense of urgency and her unshakable faith in Allah in such harsh circumstances are all examples of not only what an excellent mother she was, but also what a strong believer in Allah she was.

If you're going to Hajj this year, Insha Allah, remember this incident and think of that great mother, in whose memory Muslims today run between Safa and Marwa. Also think about your own mother, and how she too, would probably have done the same for you

10

 Things You Can Do For Your Mom

Often, moms do virtually all of the giving and very little, if any, of the taking from their families. They may not say it, but most of them want to be appreciated in small ways. You don't have to buy them a car or a house (you could do that too), but it's the small things that count with mom.

Here are some ideas of how you can let mom know that all of her giving has and continues to be appreciated.

1.

 Give mom a vacation

Don't think Hawaii. Think of a day away from the kitchen. Or the home. Give her a vacation from the home where for her, most of the seemingly endless housework is done daily. Or, if she doesn't want that, start doing your share around the house. Maybe you could start giving her one day of the week off, when she does no cooking or household chores. Remember, fathers and husbands work hard at the office, but they get a two-day weekend in most cases. Moms usually don't even get a full day off. And if they are also working outside, it's like two full time jobs.

2.

 Let's hear her life story: a mom's circle

She may have read you bedtime stories when you were small, but now it's time for her to tell you a different story-about herself. Make a mom's circle at home in which you ask her to tell her life story. Mom's circle may actually turn into a project: one family member could write this up into a report, another could make a story book out of it and a third could video/audio record it. A mom's circle may become an ongoing family tradition.

3.

 Try beating mom's cooking

While most moms ask their kids what they want to eat, turn the tables around and do the same for her. Is there special food your mom likes? Buy or prepare that food for her (if you are not the best of cooks, maybe it's safer to just buy it).

4. 

Is your mom in a nursing home

If your mom is in a nursing home, why not plan to bring her home for a weekend visit to stay with you. Even better, why not make this a weekly, or twice a month set up, so you can spend more time with her and she can be around those who really love her more often? Of course the ultimate gift will be if you can liberate her from that nursing home so she can stay in her room in your own home.

5. Arrange a mammogram for her

 
Every three minutes, a woman in America is diagnosed with breast cancer. That woman could be your mom.

A woman's chances of developing breast cancer increases with age. The National Cancer Institute recommends women age 40 and over be screened with mammography every one to two years. It also advises that women at higher risk of breast cancer get medical advice before they are 40 about when to begin screening and about the frequency of their screening. Do this for your mom, so you can see her spend the rest of her life in good health, Insha Allah (if God wills).

6.

 Is your mom a bookworm

If so, buy a small cabinet and buy all of the books you can afford. Then take it to her home and set it up for her.

7.

 If your mom is a non-Muslim

If your mom is a non-Muslim, try fasting for a day (Nafil or extra fasting), and keep thinking and praying for her. Ask Allah that He guides her and ask Him what you can do to help her understand her own Creator.

8. If your relationship has not been the best with your Mom

If your relationship with your mom has not been the best, sit down in front of a year-long calendar or planner and mark down dates and things which you can plan to improve this relationship. Start off by making a formal first appointment. Then pick dates on which you can keep contact with her and build your relationship on a regular basis.

9.

 If mom is not alive

If your mom is not alive, visit her relatives and friends and ask what you can do for them. Consider these two Hadiths (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him):

1. The Messenger of Allah said: When a person dies, his actions come to an end, except for three things: a continuing Sadaqa (charity), knowledge from which benefit is still being derived, and a righteous child who prays for her or him (translated meaning from Muslim).

2. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said:

Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

10.

 Pick up her feet and spread the word

The Prophet Muhammad said: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai). Ask your mom to lift her feet, so you can locate where Jannah is. Then tell others about your discovery by sharing what Islam has to say about moms and their importance in our lives.

Ask yourself 10 Questions about your mom

Sometimes, to be able to really evaluate what kind of relationship we have with our mothers, we need to ask ourselves the right questions. Here are some that can help:

1. When was the last time you visited your mom?

2. Do you think your mom is happy with you?

3. Have you ever said "Uff" to your mom?

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt (Uff), nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "(Quran 17:23-24).

4. What is it that your mom really wants to have?

5. How much do you know about your mom's mother?

6. What might be five things your mom really doesn't want you to do?

Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).

7. What are three things that make your mom happy or sad?

8. How many minutes do you engage in "quality talk" with your mom in a week?

9. When was the last time you cooked for your mom?

10. When was the last time you gave your mom a gift?

Aisha narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Exchange gifts with one another, for they remove ill feelings from the hearts (Tirmidhi